- Anti Joke

What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

What is your name? My name is Jeff

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

How old is victor? Half past dead

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.