Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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race-car = rac-ecar

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops