- Anti Joke

What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

A man did not like this site

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops