Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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