roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

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whats green and lives in the water

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

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Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

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How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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A man is riding down the road on his horse, Sally. He happens to see a horse without a rider, but with two saddles. He finds this peculiar, continues into town, and has a fine day.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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