Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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A black man approaches a customer service desk and asks for help. He is racially discriminated and receives no help with his problem.

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

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whats green and lives in the water

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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