What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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-Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? -No. -Well niether has he.

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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What starts with the letter P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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