Q. Why didn't the Atheist enter the church? A. Because Atheists do not go to church so he had no reason to enter.

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BOB:i feall like a hotdog JOE:u r what u eat BOB:no wonder your a d!(k JOE:f*** u

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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knock knock whose there? i don't know...

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

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An Icelandic boy hangs himself because of peer pressure. His family mourns for their loss

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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In your case, maybe because it is time to stop thinking so much, and begin living life, if the world cannot appreciate a wise man such as yourself, maybe that man should stop being wise, and begin being happy.

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roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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How many babies can you breast feed? 2

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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