What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Gus's mom

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Sally get for Christmas? Who's Sally?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops