The turd said crazy turd so many cows have ninety two ears and it walked away to the store and drank doors while juggling feces and racist jack-o-lanterns.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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What did little ben get for christmas? A dead grandma

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Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

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What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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Roses are red, yup.

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roses are red violets are dead honey is yellow and so is head

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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