Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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Q: What's one thing that 5 out of 6 people always agree on? A: Gang Rape

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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