if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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Why couldnt the man buy food? Because.

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

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You know what's natural? Bears.

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A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car, who's driving? Their father Micheal, he adopted both of them from a mentally handicapped orphanage when they were five.

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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