Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

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How do you make a pool table laugh? You cant it is'nt a living thing which means emotions.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the Holocaust

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

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Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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