What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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