How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

thumb_up thumb_down +26

LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than losing your job? Getting brutally sodimized and murdered by a serial rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

thumb_up thumb_down +22

JUSTIN BEING SMART

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats straight as a fudge packer kyle grund

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops