What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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GEOVANI is a queer that dosen't believe me

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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A man walks into a bar.

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

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how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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What's the difference between a black man and a monkey? Millions of years of evolution

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whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

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A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

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Why was Billy sad? An evil clown hit him with an Axe.

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A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

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What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops