What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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A paralysed man falls over.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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Know what's funnier than the holocaust? Almost everything i can possibly imagine. The holocaust was a terrible case of mass extermination due solely to naxis racist views

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If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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My grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell from the guard tower

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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This sentence is a lie.

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what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

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A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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