Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was very scary.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops