Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a man with no arms and legs? An amputee

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I didn't know that guy did crossfit

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops