A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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