Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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