Man says, "Hello" Girl, "Do you wanna go out?" Man, "With you?" Girl, "YES!" Man, "NO, bye!"

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

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What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops