Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

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roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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why is stu taking so long to post a joke because he is autistic

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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