Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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Military intelligence.

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What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

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a banana

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For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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Anti jokes are funny

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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nathan palmer has a big head !

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Hoocaust? 3 bee stings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

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Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Obama

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amy copied adams haircut :0

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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