ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Why did Jill come "tumbling" down the hill after Jack broke his crown? She fell running on a hill, essentially why Jack broke his crown.

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What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

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Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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apple pie.

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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penis

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What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops