How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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Jess Burns

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what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

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Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

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what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

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Why was the boy un-able to talk He was retarded

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Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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