- Anti Joke

How do you make a snake blink? You can't

What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

Why was the black man fired from the bakery? He didn't work hard and was repeatedly absent

An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

there is a fat ass bitch who lives in littlefield TX, her name...Krista. her facebook.... NannyGrizzly. I hate her!!! with a pasion... she was my neighbor... i can hear her yelling all the time. Please... someone give her a reason to yell. .................Facebook..........Nannygrizzly.......do....something.....about.......her.... thank you. Ima TROLE!!!!! hahahahaahhhahahahahahahaahha. damn it. (: v P PS. she is a bitch

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Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

Anti-jokes are funny.

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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