A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was it so easy for Superman to pick up chics? His butt ox.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

A man buys free health care...

thumb_up thumb_down +95

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

thumb_up thumb_down +55

You're so straight!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

thumb_up thumb_down +49

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops