jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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your momma is so fat she has diabetes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Want to hear an anti joke? Me too thats why Im on this site.

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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