“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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whats hairy and crys your mom

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Yes

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

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Japan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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