What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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Today i saw 2 midgets walking.........now there hanging together.....in a tree.....by there necks,,,,...............I f***n hate midgets

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what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babys taking them out with a pitchfork

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

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9/11

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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(you will only get this if you play minecraft) whats green and looks like a penis? a creeper!

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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what's the difference between a duck?

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why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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