- Anti Joke

Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

I'm going to Re-write History... History

What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom