If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Justin Bieber

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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kkkk

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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Bryson got a concussion...he died

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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