What stops a train? A missile

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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