Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

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If Life gives you melons, then I think your dislexic

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Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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Kenny G

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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why did the chicken cross the road

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how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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