Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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Když si to Nikolas ,dejme tomu že Bihary, you know nuseng.. hahahahaha

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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