Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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