What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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42

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops