Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

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Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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