Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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Shltskc gw? G

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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