Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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