Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

12 in general

Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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