If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

what does a horny frog say RUBIT RUBIT

Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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