Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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