Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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Obama lin Baden.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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