Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A boy walks to the bark and on his way he sees two individuals having sex in a car. He runs home and asks hios mother what he saw. She responds vinny is an enormous dork

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yesterday, a girl asked me why a guy is Bro if he bangs alot of chicks, and chicks are hoes if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shittyass lock, isn’t it

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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What did the coworker say about the new girls butt Nothing be cause he was quite the gentleman and wanted to be respectful ts the woman as she already had enough problems such as being hit by a bus and dying.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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i am 26 why was i kidnapped 13 years ago cause i was in a badly written play

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Why did a white man get kicked out of the Olympics 2012¿ Because he did not have down syndrome

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Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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