I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

thumb_up thumb_down -10

One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Robin get in the batmobile!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

thumb_up thumb_down -10

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops