How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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Knock Knock Come in

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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