What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Equal rights!

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Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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