roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

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Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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