Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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Equal rights!

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops