What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Equal rights!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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