Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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Why was the Mexican lucky to have a job? Due to the failing economy, lack of available jobs, and amount of people getting laid off, it was considered lucky to have a job.

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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